3 reasons why you aren’t changing your life (yet!)

Do you want to stop your cycles of perfectionism, procrastination and people pleasing that all keep you in a state of burnout?

Have you tried to change but easily backslide or get stuck?

Here are a few things you can consider to dig deeper into why the change isn’t happening yet, and what you can do about it.

1️⃣ Resistance - as someone who’s been burned out by overachieving, people pleasing and trying to be perfect in everything you do, there’s likely a part of you that is DONE. Done performing. Done efforting. Done trying to change yourself for external reasons.

If you want to change, you need to reassure this part of you that you’re on its side. That the changes you want to make are in service of your flourishing, of you nourishing yourself. There’s no need to “perform” through this change, because the lifestyle you’re looking to create is meeting yourself wherever you are with love.

2️⃣ Validation - Running around like a chicken with your head cut off, constantly running into problems, and having a life filled with struggle likely are all “easy” ways to get the sympathy of others. Hell… it might be the only way you feel like you deserve to get love and attention, is if you push yourself to the brink. Am I right, or am I right? 😂 (also, this might have been what was modeled for you by your caregivers - i.e. “I’ll martyr myself, and then I’m owed love”)

If you want to change, you’ll need to advocate for loving yourself and requesting support from others JUST BECAUSE. Not as a transaction. Just because you are a human. Your fuel source for your motivation & your method of connecting with others needs to shift.

3️⃣ Too much all at once - As much as the environments you grew up in (& possibly continued reinforcement through extractive toxic capitalist work structures) forced you to disown your needs… YOU ARE NOT A ROBOT. You have a human nervous system that needs to titrate back and forth between stress and safety in order to makes change and grow.

If you want to change, you’ll need to approach the change (the new hobby, the new career, the new project, the new ANYTHING) in little chunks interspersed with recovery time. This is the non-robot way.

❤️‍🔥 BONUS REASON - You’re avoiding feeling the feelings that will come up once you start to change. This could include fear, doubt, grief, anger, disappointment, loneliness, and more.

Which reason do you resonate most with? 1️⃣, 2️⃣, 3️⃣ or ❤️‍🔥? What will you adjust moving forward?